Impatiens

by Michael Howard

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about

Impatiens (l.) Also called by the common name "Touch-me-not", Impatiens is a species of flower exhibiting the odd characteristic of violently exploding when a fertile bud is touched, flinging it's seeds many feet from the flower. In no way is this relatable.

credits

released November 1, 2017

All songs written and performed by Michael Howard. (ASCAP) (c) 2017
Recorded by John Macy at Macy Sound Studios in Denver, CO
Mastered by Mark Fuller of Mark Fuller Mastering in San Francisco, CA
Art Direction by Nisha Ahmed
Cover Art by Veronique Van Pelt

Special thanks to the many people who have touched and shaped these songs, and made this presentation possible. including: Meg Chatfield, Sandy Craig and Lauren Michaels (The Lauren Michaels Band), Cody Berlin and Liz Berube (The Wooden Spoons), Noah Zinter and Trent Farchone (The Healthy Herd), Son the Bassman, Eileen Barnett, Cole Sullivan, Ron Howard, Justin Long of Performance High, Veronique Van Pelt and COLA Records, Jackie Z and the Record Time crew, Boulder-in-the-Round, US DOT

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Michael Howard Denver, Colorado

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Track Name: Five and Dime
I headed up the coast when I lost my mind.
The pretty woman waiting says that I'll be fine,
But I shunned myself, and her in kind.
Living like love isn't love if you have to try.

There's a fog in the valley of her heart.
The moon shines through but it blocks the stars.
I'll never find my way back west,
with this compass pressed against my breast.

I know that you just came here to talk.
What did you think I thought?
That you came here to listen?
Like you remembered I've got an opinion
And you missed it
Doesn't sound like a likely reason for your visit.
Is it?

Winter left me waiting at the five and dime,
Snow sneaking in like it should be a crime.
You read me like a book, broke my spine.
Now I'm staring at the front door like a starting line.

I know that you just came here to talk.
What did you think I thought?
That you came here to listen?
Like you remembered I've got an opinion
And you missed it
Doesn't sound like a likely reason for your visit.
Is it?
Track Name: Fable
The only thing that strikes me as the least bit strange
As I went walking with my unborn daughter down by the riverbank
Is that her auburn curls are blowing fitful in the breeze,
But darling, your hair is straight as an arrow.

I woke wetter than sin, soaked in quantities of gin
And I doubt if I'll dry out till the day I die
Because most of the men who've walked the lonely mile in my shoes
Have gone on to city in their own graves in the middle of the night.

Darling, I'll walk straight as an arrow.
Darling, our paths are straight as a fable.

I never dreamt of marrying till I was dreaming of you
Hardly know what the word means but I know it's all I want to do
Now I lost myself in a push towards your love
I tend to get knocked off center when I'm not sitting and being quiet enough.

Patience, spoke the text, and patience spoke the breeze
But there's a hole behind my mind that shouldn't even fit inside of me
Oh, I've sailed upon the sea, and I can tell you what I've seen
Any boat floats as well near shore as over the deepest dark ravine.
Track Name: Dream Wolf
Dream wolf, answering the wind
Do you tire of traversing winter lands?
Does your coat suit only lonely times?
Have you wandered far enough to lay down?

Did a man from nowhere lure you with promises of change?
Do you believe it is the same world holding up our feet
that's holding down our brains?
Do you believe?

You're not the only one who can dream,
And I'm going to tell you where I've been.

I watched my brother get his throat cut on barbed wire
Hanging from a fence post going drip, drip, drip
Mating with the dogs and making something wrong
Asking like an orphan for poisoned bait and poaching

Don't worry more, there's no burden bore by the dream wolf,
Just leave that to the healthy herd.
Track Name: I Need Another
I need another lover like I need another full time job
So I can forget what I found all those times I just up and took off.
I'd love a lover, but I can't take on one more job.

I need another lover like I need another hit on my tongue
Before reciting the eulogy at the funeral of my first son.
I'd love a lover, but I sure as hell don't want one.

I need another lover like I need a shot of dilaudid
Before driving my grandmother south from Eureka,
Down California One.
I'd love a lover but I sure as hell don't want one.

I need another lover like I need another smoke in my lungs
While I'm just trying to get through the day without coming undone
Its not that it helps, but it sure as hell hurts not to have one.
I'd love a lover, but I pray to the stars I don't find one.

Oh Lord, what's come of me that I'm hiding from love?
There's got to be a lot left to learn, and I'm bound to mess up.
Oh, let's just take this slow.
When we've gone too far at least there'll be some time left to know.

I need another lover like I need another hole in my arm
Living the first hand reason to write the song about losing the farm
I'd love a lover, but I don't want to cause any more harm.

I need another lover, like I need another drink before bed.
Brother, it takes one to know one,
And I think we might be better off dead.
I'd love a lover, but I'd best take my leave instead.
Track Name: Impatiens
Have you ever met a flower who didn't say pick me?
But go round picking flowers, you'll soon have much too much to carry.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I want to take you home.
I know you've got one out there, but I can be the place you run
When this worlds a wreck

What we needs a simple next step
may I suggest that we both undress?

Don't underestimate my love, don't underestimate my patience
I've been through this whole show before,
Born and died, I'll live once more
I'm getting tired, tired, tired of this old revolving door
Let's run away and start again, that's what these legs are for
Let's burn it down and build again, that's what these hands are for.
Take my body, take my mind, that'll have to be enough
Because it's too late, I love you. Good luck.

I'm here for now you're there for good,
We learn from what we lose
And were losing what we should

Time's a patient teacher, makes me wait to pay the cost
While I draw the map that gets me lost

I found someone that held someone that loved someone who knew
That patience is a virtual reality tour
Of natural consequence
Track Name: Good Witch
Good witch of the north, I'm under your spell.
So I'll just be here waiting in my padded cell.
Good witch of the north, you can keep your newt,
because I promise that this time I'll do whatever you want me to do.

I would have sold you my soul, but I was already less than whole.

Good witch of the north, please tell me what you see.
I know what I want now, that is to know what I need.
Good witch of the north, you got me standing out on a precipice.
I've climbed all the way up here and I'm just left if this is it?

I would have sold you my soul, but it was already less than whole.

Good witch of the north, time's up, I've been playing along.
We both know there never was any curse, but I must admit your pull was very strong. Oh, so very strong.

I would have sold you my soul, but it was already less than whole.
Track Name: Lexi
Little Lexi wingnut, riding lone across the desert,
she's got her whole life in a Lexus, except a cat waiting back in Texas.
She's headed for her next adventure and passing every exit, little Lexi.

Little Lexi Loo, I wouldn't change one thing about you.
You reminded me of what I always knew.
I'll do me, you do you.
If we meet again I'll make you breakfast, kiss your face and fix your necklace,
don't forget these hands are here for you, little Lexi Loo.

And I know you'll slay them, I know you'll knock 'em dead.
Utah already wants you back, I'd wager California's next,
and all the way from Denver, I feel Austin breathing down your neck.

Little Lexi Lei, the gold coast sounds so far away.
It would take my truck a couple days, and right now I've got to stay
but I could fly there on your smile, swim there through your laugh,
once my head hits the pillow, all these miles disappear so fast.

Little Lexi wingnut, riding lone across the desert,
she's got her whole life in a Lexus except a cat waiting back in Texas,
she's headed for her next adventure and passing every exit,
she's crossing off another state, touching herself to stay awake,
there's no mistake she could ever make except to question her own direction,
Little Lexi Loo.
Track Name: Made for Mending
Now we're both headed south on an autumn Sunday
But you'll hop over my state in the middle of your flight’s first leg.
And I'll drive through new New York, hardly stop to sleep or dream
Keeping on, turn some old songs up louder than I can even think.

Cause that won't leave too much to do in the way of missing you.
When I threw out the past, I threw out the future too.

I'll visit every friend I have who still speaks my name,
Just to fill the time you're gone, I figure it'll only take one or two a day.
That should shake the rust off of my gut when my stomach starts to sink
I've given up the drunk but I haven't given up the drink.

That might leave too much to do…

Honey, please. I've had a broken heart before.
I assure you this is nothing like it. It hurts worse by far,
Because my hands are made for mending and the only trouble that I see
Is that there's nothing left to fix ‘round here.
Would you be a dear and break something for me?

That won't leave too much to do…
Track Name: Marie
When the doctor called, he said
“You better come, but don’t hurry.
She’ll be here when you get here, son. Don’t worry.”

I’m standing at the faultline
waiting to fall in.
I’ve been wishing I was someone else.
I’ve been wishing I could, wishing I could, wishing I could just give in.

I was a Navy boy at 19, running crews at dry dock
We were fitting radomes on submarines.
I watched a good man take 220 volts
And get blown clear off the scaffold.

Oh lord, I hope he’s dead before he hits the ground
Just another casualty we’ll never count.


Marie, oh Marie
When will you remember me?
I became the man the world wanted to se
So I hung my head and shut my mouth
I’ve got a wife, two kids, and a big house now.

Just another bright day in Brighton, Colorado
I was playing with my best friend down by the tracks
I was the sheriff, he was the desperado
I spied him coming from the West, but I stood up too quick
I spied him coming from the West, I put my head right in a hornet nest.

Oh lord, I’ve never run so fast,
Waving my arms, a crazy astronaut in a paper mask
Oh lord, wishing I was dead before I hit the ground.
Just another casualty they’ll never count.

Marie, oh Marie
When will you remember me?
I became the man the world wanted to see
So I hung my head and shut my mouth
I’ve got a wife two kids and a big house now

When I arrived, there was no part of her that I recognize,
And she stared right through me.
They said it might be days, it might be weeks.
However long, I’ll meet you there, Marie.

Marie, oh Marie
When will you remember me?
I became the man the world wanted to see
So I hung my head and shut my mouth
You can find me hiding in the pews every Sunday now.

I’m standing at the faultline waiting to fall.
Track Name: Someday
The sun will shine someday
The sun will shine someday

And my soul will be lifted
Just another offer taken
Oh, but I didn't sign on the line
I didn't sign my name
That's enough

I've been up, been famined, been foundered.
I've been lost, been tumbled under.

And my soul will be lifted
Just another offer taken
Oh, but I didn't sign on the line
I didn't sign my name
Because I still know you
And I still want you
Track Name: Little Pig
I know you've got a broken heart,
just take a number and get in line someday you will be fine.

We both know this line's a long one,
we'll never be alone it just goes on and on, on and on.

Then one day, they'll call your number
you can step to the counter and be set free, finally.

I want to scream and spit blood, knock my teeth out one by one.

This pig went to the office, this pig sat in traffic smoking himself sick,
can you really blame him?
This pig went to the city, this pig embalmed himself, doctor's orders
he takes his pills everyday.
Track Name: Stuck
You want me, but you want me stuck,
feeding the fire for every evening forthcoming.

I was a child when we met.
I'm not a king yet, but I'm getting better at keeping my head.
I think you'd rather be queen of what's left.
Thin light casts a small town silhouette.

I slip silently to deep sleep.
Lips part to make meaning but don't speak,
down here in the dark where truths go for cheap, nothing's free.

I want to to swim in a sea of modern means.
I had enough of the hills of green.
Give me an urban scene, I want the common dream
to love and be seen.

I try not to fight the weather, sure as the sun she slights me.
I try not to fight the traffic, just another cell along an artery.
I try not to covet, I'm writing the book on unfeeling that feeling.
I try not to shiver, but I can see the bottom from here,
not far now and getting near.

You want me, but you want me stuck
feeding the fire for every evening forthcoming.
Track Name: Shimmer
Easy, I'll bend in your breeze.
I've weathered you before, and you brought me to my knees.

Shimmer and stray from the tired trail
When you need to get away
From the places you go to get away

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